The Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers
- Can't stick their heads out of Windows 98.
- Fetch command not available on all platforms.
- Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side
- Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
- Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
- Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
- Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.
- Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
- Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
- Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.
- Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
- Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
- 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
- Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
- SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
- SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
- Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manoeuvre.
- Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
- Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
And the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...
- TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo
( * 1. Too Damn Hard To Type With Paws. )
Web Symbols - "Emoticons"
On the web and mainly on newsgroups, you may have seen all these cryptic symbols. They are called "Emoticons" and are a way to convey emotions in a text based medium. If you have wondered what they mean here is a list of the most common:
| Symbols |
Meaning |
Symbols |
Meaning |
| :-) |
Smiling |
:-D |
Laughing |
| :-/ |
Scowling |
:-O |
Surprise, Shock |
| >:-( |
Angry |
:-( |
Unhappy |
| :-p |
Sticking out your tongue |
;-) |
Winking |
If you are interested in the "Emoticons" then you may also be interested in the following Acronym's.
| Acronym |
Meaning |
Acronym |
Meaning |
| AFAIK |
"As Far As I Know" |
AKA |
"Also Known As" |
| BTW |
"By The Way" |
BRB |
"Be Right Back" |
| FAQ |
"Frequently asked questions" |
FYI |
"For Your Information" |
| FWIW |
"For What It's Worth" |
FUBAR |
"F'd Up Beyond All Recognition" |
| GD&R |
"Grinning, Ducking and Running" |
IANAL |
"I Am Not A Lawyer (But...)" |
| IDK |
"I don't know" |
IHTFP |
"I have truly found paradise" |
| IMHO |
"In My Humble Opinion" |
IMO |
"In My Opinion" |
| IYKWIM |
"If You Know What I Mean" |
JM2C |
"Just My 2 Cents" |
| LOL |
"Laughing Out Loud" |
OTOH |
"On The Other Hand" |
| PITA |
"Pain In The A--" |
PMFJI |
"Pardon Me For Jumping In" |
| PMJI |
"Pardon My Jumping In " |
TIA |
"Thanks In Advance" |
| TPTB |
"The Powers That Be" |
TTFN |
"Ta Ta For Now" |
| TWIMC |
"To Whom It May Concern" |
ROTFL |
"Rolling On The Floor Laughing" |
| RTFM |
"Read The F'N Manual" |
SOHF |
"Sense Of Humor Failure" |
| SWALK |
"Sealed With A Loving Kiss" |
SPAM |
"Stupid Persons' AdvertiseMent " |
| WRT |
"With Respect To" |
WYSIWYG |
"What You See Is What You Get" |
| YMMV |
"Your Mileage May Vary" |
YWIA |
"You're welcome in advance" |
|
E-mail me at
webeditor@wpcug.com